Chapter 1
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
What is one example of "small stuff" that you let get to you recently?
I was assigned a lot of homework over one weekend. I became frustrated, because I wanted to spend that weekend working on scholarships and college applications. I immediately told myself I wouldn’t have enough time for both. Because I gave up so quickly, I struggled to even get my homework done. Looking back, I know I should’ve just taken a deep breath, planned out my weekend, and worked as hard and as fast as possible to get everything done.
Chapter 2
Make Peace with Imperfection
How does 'ego' distract you? i.e. judgement, fear, anxiety, depression, comparison, hatred, and more
Ego can be a massive distraction in my life. I find myself constantly comparing myself to others, and berating myself over the smallest mistakes I make. I’m an idealist and a perfectionist, sometimes too much of one. For example, when I’m assigned a school project I always come up with an intricate idea of what to do, only to be grounded in reality when I realize how difficult it is to do and how underprepared I was. I end up getting everything done, but I put myself through so much unneeded stress by doing so and the finished result usually is a disappointment to me. My idealism at times can lead to a lot of self hate, and feel like a disappointment at times. Throughout this past year I’ve slowly tried to work on this, only making some improvement. I know it’s something I’ll always deal with, especially when I get into the career I want, but I know I’ll always get through those moments.
Chapter 3
Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't Be Super Achievers
Thoughts:
"When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others."
"When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others."
I absolutely believe this quote to be true. My life is filled with distractions, especially concerns, and I know they make my life harder. Though I believe I should have inner peace, I have no idea how to achieve it. I also don’t think I will achieve it for a long time. That’s not me being negative. I’m just trying to be realistic. I think I have a lot to learn and a lot to experience before I am able to reach inner peace, and I’m okay with that.
Chapter 4
Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking
Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
In the moment I don’t notice how my body and mind feel when I’m out of control. It’s only afterwards when I’m relaxed that I realize how I felt. Sometimes as I begin to get out of control, I notice how I feel. I tend to bounce my leg and become fidgety. My mind will be racing, and I can not focus. I usually just want to get up and do something productive with an instant reward, like cleaning my room.
Chapter 5
Develop Your Compassion
Can you recall a time when you made something "big" and dramatic when in reality it was "small" and not that big of a deal?
A couple months ago, I was really stressing about college, since I knew I really needed to start preparing and working on applications. I was specifically focused on the SAT’s, as the one I was signed up to take in April was cancelled due to Covid-19. Although colleges made scores optional, I felt like I needed to include mine. I’m a good test taker and was convinced that my scores would help me. I tried signing up for the test in August. Seats were full. I tried signing up for September. Seats were full. I was able to sign up for the one in October and November. However, I was set on applying for an early decision on my top school and the deadline for that is November 1st. I felt beyond panicked, telling myself that I’m not going to get into college. Looking back my reaction was ridiculous. I wish I didn’t overreact and instead stayed calm.
Chapter 6
Remind Yourself That When You Die, Your "In Basket" Won't Be Empty
What does your "in basket" look like? And will it be there tomorrow...
I feel like I have quite a bit in my "in basket". Most things in it are daily tasks, like cleaning, laundry, and homework. There are also bigger, more important tasks in there. The bigger one for me is college applications. Other more important ones include finding a job and completing scholarships. I also find that I put personal goals in my "in basket". An example for me would be writing. Majority of these tasks will be there if not everyday, then most days.
Chapter 7
Don't Interrupt Others or Finish Their Sentences
Do you believe you are a strong listener or could use some work?
I do believe that I’m a strong listener. I used to think that I wasn’t, but as I’ve gotten older I realized that I am. I obviously could improve, but I think for my age I’m doing well. I feel my parents taught me that listening is a form of respect. I feel if a person comes to talk to me I owe them the respect to at the very least listen. That doesn’t mean I owe them a response, just the feeling of being heard. Now there are definitely times where I don’t listen, whether it be I’m angry, stressed, overwhelmed, or sad. I feel everyone has moments like that. It’s part of being human. Though, the majority of the time I am a strong listener.
Chapter 8
Do Something Nice for Someone Else - and Don't Tell Anyone About It
Recall a time you have given, did you expect acknowledgment?
A year ago I volunteered at the Sierra Vista Annual Christmas Dinner. I honestly did sign up with the intent to help and give back to others. I didn’t need volunteer hours or anything like that. I wasn’t really expecting acknowledgement, maybe just a “good job” from my parents, but nothing more than that. I truly love giving back to my community and spending time doing good. I also learn so much and gain a lot of experience from volunteering, which is a better reward than acknowledgement.
Chapter 9
Let Others Have the Glory
Have you experienced someone else "stomping" on your story (glory)? How did it make you feel?
There isn’t one major moment that I remember. Though I know I have had this experience several times. It usually happens in my family to be honest. It seems like everyone is too focused on getting out what they want to say, that they forget what others want to share. Sometimes after one of my family members finishes talking and I start to begin, they stop listening and move on. A lot of the time interrupting is a problem. It happens often at family gatherings. I hate it when I am interrupted or ignored, even if it’s unintentional. I know I do it to others, and I feel really bad about it. If I interrupt someone or try to one up them, I’d hope they’d let me know.
Chapter 10
Learn to Live in the Present Moment
What are some ways that you work to stay in the present moment?
I’m a very anxious person, so I’m usually never in the present moment. It’s honestly something I really struggle with. I do still have a few ways to help me get back in the moment. One of the simplest ways is using a stress ball or fumbling with a paperclip. Another way is by coloring or drawing. If I’m really struggling, I need to have a moment to take a few deep breaths.
Chapter 11
Imagine that Everyone is Enlightened Except You
Think of a time when you were frustrated, now look at it as a moment of being taught... what did you learn?
I used to be in a dance company middle school and my freshman year of high school. I remember one year a few guests were coming in to view a ballet class and watch some of the dancers perform a few dances choreographed prior. I can’t remember exactly what it was for, but I do remember that it was extremely important and no one wanted to mess up. At that time, the dancers in my age group were all understudies, so we weren't supposed to perform that day. Well, the girl I understudied for was sick with the flu that whole week and wasn’t able to come in that day, so I had to perform. I was very nervous and even a bit frustrated due to the stress. In the end I did fine. I learned to be ready for anything, and how to perform under pressure.
Chapter 12
Let Others Be "Right" Most of the Time
Challenge:
The next time you are in a discussion/ argument, let the other person be right and take notice on the initial feeling that transpires.
The next time you are in a discussion/ argument, let the other person be right and take notice on the initial feeling that transpires.
I’m usually more on the quiet and observant side, so this challenge wasn’t too difficult to me. Often in conversations I am taking in things others are saying rather than trying to put in my final word. The most recent time this has happened was with my dad. I hung out with my friends a lot this weekend and he was worried about me getting my homework done. He does this most of the time and I always get annoyed, as I hate being nagged about things. This time, while I did put my word in a bit, I ultimately let him win the argument. Honestly, it was nice because of how quickly the argument ended. We were also both left in better moods.
Chapter 13
Become More Patient
Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize you are so very small in this vast world and really your 'drama' isn't that big a deal?
I’ve definitely had reflective moments like that. I’ve also had them at varying levels. At times they can be terrifying or scary, though they can also be enlightening. I realize my problems are small in comparison to the grand scheme of things. However, I also don’t think it is a bad thing to often think about daily worries, as long as you have an awareness of the world past what’s around you.
Chapter 14
Create "Patience Practice Periods"
Do you have a 'mantra', a statement that you make to yourself daily or weekly?
I don’t have a mantra that I tell myself regularly, like daily or weekly. I do, however, I have a sort of mantra I tell myself when I’m stressed. I usually tell myself “time moves on” or “everything will pass”. It helps bring me back into the moment and reminds me this stress will end eventually. Sometimes, if I’m having really bad anxiety, I just tell myself to breathe and focus on one thing, which usually helps.
Chapter 15
Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out
Have you lost a relationship because something "small" created a "big divide"?
While I’ve never lost a relationship because of something “small”, relationships have been impacted by small things accumulating into bigger things. Majority of the time, however, it’s not too big of a deal and is forgiven quickly. I have had relationships impacted or were ended over things that, at the very least to me, were big. However, I am the kind of person who ignores the problem to avoid conflict, hurting myself more in the process and being unfair to the other person. It is something I greatly need to work on, but is very difficult, especially when that conflict is big.
Chapter 16
Ask Yourself the Question, "Will This Matter a Year from Now?"
What do you hope to do a year from now?
There’s a lot I hope to do in a year from now, some of which is out of my control. One thing, for example, which is out of my control is actually attending college in person. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to forever, with my excitement growing the closer I get. I also hope to film a couple short films, which is under my control. Those are the main two things I’d like to do within the next year. Though, they are also smaller things I hope will happen like earning scholarships, writing more, and consuming new books and films.
Chapter 17
Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn't Fair
Is life meant to be fair? What does that even mean?
This is honestly quite a heavy, complex question, which I could probably write pages upon pages on. A lot determines one's answer on this question like their religion or life experiences. For me personally I don’t think life was meant to be fair nor was meant to be unfair. I believe that life kind of just happened the way it happened with no real intent. My views on this will likely change or grow as I get older, gain more life experience, and my beliefs evolve. For life to be fair, everyone needs to be given equal opportunities and the playing fields need to be level, which isn’t the case currently.
Chapter 18
Allow Yourself to Be Bored
Do you take the time to be bored?
I definitely take time for myself to be bored. When I have my mental health under control, I’m a very ‘go with the flow’ kind of person and as an introvert and procrastinator, I excel in making time to do nothing. I often take moments to just be in the morning after waking up or a significant change in weather, mainly rain. My sense of touch usually brings me into these moments, as I’ve found I heavily rely on it. Feeling the ground beneath my feet or the sun on my skin calms and reminds me to take a moment to appreciate life.
Chapter 19
Lower Your Tolerance to Stress
Have you been taught to believe high stress is a positive thing?
High stress has definitely been taught to be a positive thing. My parents judge my behaviour based on how productive my day was. If I don’t do enough I’m lectured and guilted. Even outside of my family people who are overachievers and lose sleep and food to their work.
Chapter 20
Once a Week, Write a Heartfelt Letter
When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
The last time I wrote someone a letter, where I was genuinely expressing my gratitude, was not too long ago. However, this is more coincidental than me actually writing letters as a common practice. I usually try to write a heartfelt letter to someone for their birthday, which was the last time I wrote a letter. I also have planned on writing a letter to my great aunt, since I haven’t seen her in about a year due to covid. I’ve always enjoyed receiving letters in the mail and plan to write many to friends and family in the future once I move away.